Do you know the feeling Dad?
The feeling of having so much to say, but the person you want to tell everything to is gone? I can’t believe I haven’t sat down to talk with you in 8 years. Some days I feel like its not possible, like I’m walking around in a dream that eventually I’ll wake up from. Unfortunately, I know that is just a wish that I privately hold onto on my worst days. Days like today.
I know that you’re watching over Kameron, Dad. I know how proud of him you would be. It’s been hard without you here to share some of the joy I have seeing the man he’s become, not the ten year old you knew.
Kam’s graduating from high school this year. He has several scholarship offers from four different colleges, academic scholarships – wow – it’s crazy. Each one more impressive than the other, you would be so proud of him.
I know you’d give him advice, opinions, wisdom, I just don’t know. I try to listen to my heart, searching for what you might say or do. Sometimes I feel like I know what to do, others, I just don’t.
Kam graduates May 26th. I can’t wrap my head around that you won’t be there to see him walk across the stage to get his diploma. I can’t believe you won’t be with me to move him into his new dorm. I will want to stay and help him set up his new place, you would nudge me and announce it was time to ‘hit the road’ right before I started to sob.
I know you would.
It wouldn’t surprise me if you teared up a little once we got to the car. Your “little buddy” all grown up Pop.